The Year of News
Imagine this:
Introverted attitude
Unexpected house party
Drunken car towing
New years adventures
I want to say I know it’s been about 20 years since I have posted anything. It’s kind of like I forgot I had a website or something…Which wouldn’t be entirely wrong but, not the full truth. A lot went on these past months, and a lot is still going on, but they are a story for another time. I’ll eventually be nice enough to tell you these stories. In the meantime, let us welcome in the new year with adventure and some of that good old fashion what the fudge Precious.
Let me set the scene, after a day of doing absolutely nothing; your young adventurer is sitting sipping on a Red Label and cherry coke watching Family Guy while packing her bag for her trip back to her military training. (surprise, I’m in the Army now, I told you a lot have happened.) I stayed with my friend for the past weekend after not paying for a hotel room due to having the financial responsibility of a private straight out of basic training. For those who don’t know, that is not a good thing once so ever. So yeah, my friend was lovely enough to let me stay with him for a while. While watching crude humor and fart jokes, my phone buzzed. Usually, my phone died somewhere that I can’t find, or I ignore it because human interactions tend to be a lot of me sometimes, but tonight on the eve of a new year, I had a change of heart.
Maybe, it should have been a night where I “lost my phone, " but I answered my friend's call to join him for a New Year’s party with a small group of his co-workers and a particular person in my past that was in attendance. Who’s, was this person, you may be asking? Well, it was an interesting British man whose accent has haunted me ever since I met him at a club two years ago. After spending a great night drinking, playing pool, and outrageous plans, we never talked again. End of the story, besides the fact that he was my best friend’s roommate at the time as well, let’s say that was one friend I never went to visit. Unfortunately, he would be in attendance, and that should have been my first clue that it would be an exciting night for sure.
Since responding by saying yes to the event, I packed the rest of my bags, kissed my host goodbye, and headed to Little Rock to my social suicide. The moment I got to the party, more like kickback, there was about fifteen minutes before the ball dropped. When I said that this was going to be social suicide, that was precisely what it was—a simple living room with very quaint-drunken occupants, and of course, the first person that I lay eyes on is that British man was pouring glasses of champagne.
If I could be any animal in the world, I would want to be a turtle. I’m just saying at that moment, I was hoping that I had a shell to retract into, and the only way that I would come out is if someone physically extracted me from my house of shelter. I’m not sure if it was the fact that there was a room of drunk people or the fact that there was an eight-five percent chance that I would end up in the back room with this man having him whispers words like “Bloody’ and “Bollocks’ in my ear. Okay, maybe that wouldn’t be the most sexist thing to say in the bedroom but, who knows, there are many kinks these days.
Anywho, see what I did there, I spent about ten minutes trying to figure out a word to say when finally my friend approached me and forced me across the living room to the kitchen where a glass of champagne and an awkward smile-head nod thingy happens. After escaping that weird soul-sucking situation, I sat by two couples and sipped my drink to fixate my eyes n the television. The people around me started to fumigate the smell of hormones in the air, getting ready to kiss their lover into the new year, as I sat there and took it all in.
3..
2..
1..
Happy New Years, the room burst into a cheer as I only could think about the one. The tequila that was sitting on the counter calling my name. Okay, let’s get something clear; I am an alcoholic; most people would say they aren’t. They “happen” too drunk too much but, not me. I intend to get messed up and act a fool. The only thing that made this different was that I had to catch a flight to Atlanta at 8:00 the night morning, but I would risk a shot or two. If I calculated it correctly, I could take two and sober up in two hours, and that is precisely what I planned on doing.
2 hours later….
…and I was ready to go. I was a little light-headed but prepared to get out of this house and attempt to get a couple of hours of sleep before leaving and doing my thing. The only probably was I was the only sober one well; everyone else was crawling to get where they needed to go. If there is one thing that I dislike the most, it would be non-functioning drunkards. The way that they are vulnerable to you and expect you to keep all of their secrets. Nope, I refuse to be anyone emotional national bank, even though people always end up making deposits anyway.
It took about thirty minutes to trick my friends to take water shots to get them ready to leave. The host was prepared to call it quits, and I was prepared to turn the towel in after someone, a British man, had the bright idea to have everyone go to his house to “continue partying.” This was the easiest way for me to drop off my drunk friends to safety and to have some sleep before my travels.
I don’t think that I describe the weather outside; while I was inside feeling awkward about my existent, out was doing the most. It was raining, but since it was winter, there was that mixture of icy precipitation coming from the dark sky. Back to the story; finally, I was about o get them out of the house and into the respective vehicles. (Of course, with people who were able to drive) This was when everything went downhill for me.
The joy of driving is to pull out of the driveway and drive around semi-unconscious while you are listening to music or maybe a podcast as you try not to spill the coffee that is in your lap. Unlike this ideal situation, when I started my car, two things happened: My car engine light came on, and I could reverse to get out of the grassy yard. I think I forgot about basic earth science; when it rains on dirt that it makes mud. For some reason, my mind didn’t compute that when I parked in the grass, and now I can’t reverse…my car was stuck.
My New Year resolution, which I know I don’t believe in, is to do things independently and work out problems as a team. There were two things unfair with this situation; my “team” was drunk for the most part, and I learned that I couldn’t push my vehicle even if it’s in neutral gear. The result that I got from doing it was a face full of mud and grass, which wasn’t the best way to start things off.
Lucky for all my readers out there, it happened to me and not to your guys, right. Maybe I should have just had my phone on silent and or do what I do much and act like they didn’t exist but, New Year..New Me. After about twenty minutes of stupid ideas like; cardboard under the front wheels and sticking bricks under to pry the wheels out of the mud. I decided to call a tow truck to pull me out of the situation and hopefully take me back to 2020, where I belonged.
After about a couple of enraged Snapchat stories and a short nap, my tow truck guy, who I will call chuck, came to help me get my car unstuck. Covid-19 is still a thing, believe it or not, so when you approached my car (Without a mask), I wasn’t the quickest to put my window done but, since he was my savior, I had to be a little superior to the guy. I cracked my window a little bit as he slipped a piece of paper through the gap. Just some essential paperwork for me to fill out. I asked him if I could stay in my car where he answered,
“Do whatever you wanna do.”-rude tow guy named Chuck.
Ten minutes passed, and I was free from my prison of mud to drop off my friend, who slept throughout the whole process, and to take a shower before catching my plane, which was in forty-five minutes. It was about a ten-minute drive and fifteen minutes before I had to be back in my car to check into the airport. After all of that, I didn’t want to be around people, but that was just a given.
What is the key takeaway from this? I need to stay at home and shouldn’t have any outside interactions. While that isn’t a bad idea, but no key takeaway from the overall experience is that you will sometimes know the situations you will be in. Sometimes you should be ready to take on anything that comes your way. The good, the bad, and the unexpected, keeping in mind the adventures that come in between.
Besides all of that, I would like to give everyone a round of applause; you have survived a hell of a year, and surprise, there is more to come in 2021. You have to be prepared to take the risk, take on the challenge, and rise above the difficulties. Let’s all take a moment of silence to think about all the things that could come out of this year and the years to come.
But I’m no one of authority; I’m just staying.
Signing off
PJS
